Searching......

I've searched the stars and attempted to read the signs. Your doubts and bad thoughts hurt me more deeply than you can imagine. I search for clues or hints, but I find nothing. You believe that we are destined but all I get from you are accusations of betrayal. I have vowed myself to you, Heart, Mind, Body and Soul. I have done nothing to break that vow. You wait for me to initiate but when I do, I'm cut down.

Yes I am hurting right now. I'm in pain. Have you bothered to call me? Have you bothered to send me a "I Love You." text? No. Instead it's me and there are times I don't get a response. How can you say you love me when I feel you are so distant with me? You know me well enough that I will not chase you. I don't chase.

My visions at night are of us. Living happily. As easily as it is a joyful moment, it can quickly becomes a nightmare filled with pain and anger. Not from me but from you. The last words sent to me from you, were painful. I responded to it and yet I receive nothing, your silence kills me. It torments me and twists my soul back into jadedness and loathing.

Help me stop searching for answers and just talk to me. I feel like you have playing a wicked, deceitful game; I know it not, to be true. My heart can't take this and I have little heart left to give anymore. I don't want to die alone and wanting. I have never done anything to you to deserve such treatment. Save me, please save me.