Why is it so...

You call me at the most random times. You leave me comments but never write back. You call to yell at me. You say you love but where are you?

I do need you, I do want you, and I do love you. But how Can I truely love someone that's not really there? I have no shoulder to cry on but my own. I have no one to turn to but myself. I can't talk to my reflection. I can't hold my Shadow. I can't caress your picture on Myspace. What good am I to you if I never see you. What is it you want? A Boyfriend? A lover? Or someone to talk dirty to on the phone? I can't go on like this. I can't keep up this game, because right now that's what it feels like. I have written a blog before explaining what I want here is it:

A wise man told me one night the meaning of love. The truth about relationships. The story of why relationships in America have become so complicated in this world today.

Love is the willingness of the heart, mind and soul of a person(s) to give. The ability to overlook wrongs, to forgive them, and work things through at times. The ability to have an understanding of each other and know each other inside and out. The ability to communicate and be able to express ones feelings and desires. Knowing how to be the lion in the relationship and knowing when to be the lamb. The Lion symbolizes the man, masculinity, power, protection, and devotion. The Lamb symbolizes the man and his knowledge on when to become submissive and not take charge of the relationship, the caring and understanding, his ability to express his emotions and comfort his lover when time calls for it, and the rational one.

The one man that masters this is the man I want. However, that doesn't mean the guy I meet will be perfect. There is no perfect relationship and if you say you have one then you are selling something. If you say you are perfect then who am I to judge, I can only express my opinion and I have.

I lost my way and now I have found my path. Spoken words are just but words, but the action that I will take will speak louder than any words that I may speak or type. I am now dedicating myself to changing for myself. I hope I can stay on this path. It's hard when I don't have someone to catch me when I fall.

This is what I want. Show me that you are truly there, show me that you know how to be Lion and when you know to be the lamb. This passage is not one you should twist to amuse your sexual need but should be used to know what I want, who I want, and How I want them. All I ask is that there is no more words, no more emails, no more phone calls or texts. I want you to show me now...