Small Issues

I've been aware that I am not a small person nor do I pretend to be. Every morning, day, and night I am reminded on how big I am. I didn't always be this way. I use to be smaller and lean. I've gotten lazy and unmotivated. After my first true relationship, I found myself not wanting to work out, not active in any sport, I felt unattractive. I spiraled down with boozes and the occasional drug use, no needles or pipes, just a straw or a dollar bill. I'm no saint and I don't pretend to be. I still drink on occasion, like on the weekends or a party that I was invited to.

The reason for this blog today....

I was surfing through some profiles on DList and Myspace. The guys I sent friend requests to were positively gorgeous and hot. It made me think, I want to be like that again. I'm 27 now and not getting younger. I want to get back into shape and start working out on a regular basis. Get back into a routine so to speak. My biggest problem isn't eating poorly or portion control. It's the fact that I have gotten lazy and to add to it I have redeveloped self image issues. I had this problem since I hit puberty.

I can't stand to look at myself in a mirror, shocking I know with all the pictures of me. I hate my pictures really. I use to hate taking pictures. I've forced myself to take pictures to aid me in overcoming my issue. It worked for the most part, I'm better at taking pictures. It's the mirror that is bothering me lol. ugh. I just really need to get this off my chest.

I dunno where I am going with this, no where really, it's just some thoughts that had been lingering in my head for a few days. I know my friends would tell me to shut up and say that I'm beautiful and attractive but I yet have not had the ability to land a bf =( I've stopped looking and it's not helping either. I grow tired of listening to others telling me their problems and no one cares to hear mine. I guess that is why I have this blog. Eh whatever. Well I'm done I guess. I hope everyone has a great Monday and start up some Mardi Gras Activities tonight, I'm gonna try ha ha =) Drop me a line some time.