Better to have Loved than not Loved at All

It pains me to see those words, when the last words that were exchanged, were in anger. All I wanted was to make you happy and to finally say I have someone. But it was made clear I was a waste of your time, your emotions and your heart. My intentions were never to be deceitful or false. I can only imagine what had gone through your head, but rationality was not present when I spoke with you. It never fails that I manage to fuck things up, for me, my life and now for you. What I said about you being happy and prosperous in your life was genuine and sincere. My friends tell me you're not worth it, but they are not the ones talking to you, thinking about, caring about you, and falling in love with you. I have now made myself sound desperate. So be it, YES, I am desperate now. I'm tired of this shit. I can't even make things go right for a minute without fucking it up.

Depression kicks back in, numbness now flows in blood filled veins and arteries.The pain shoots from my heart to my head and down my spine. Better to have loved than not loved at all.... I curse the bastard for coming up with this motto. I want to cut out my heart and stick it in a chest. It's shattered already, now I have to find a place to set it so that it can't shatter any further.